Christmas is coming -- AGAIN

Christmas always makes me feel like such a Scrooge.  Virtually everyone I know has reached the point in their life where if they want anything, well . . . they just go get it.   And I have absolutely NO imagination when it comes to thinking of cute little things that will make people happy even if they neither want nor need them.  So instead of anticipating the holiday season, I've come to dread it.  It means getting cards, doing a "Christmas Letter" for Mark's benefit (he really enjoys sending them out, but we really never do anything exciting enough to interest much of anyone really), and cleaning up the house for out-of-town visitors.  Of course if we DIDN'T get holiday visitors, the place would no doubt have to be condemned by spring!  So on second thought -- thanks, guys!

We're down to only four dogs this year which makes the process a bit less harrowing.  But Ben and Niki are both pretty incapacitated and difficult to handle these days.  Ben is so old that he has trouble getting up, particularly on the slippery wood floors. 

Niki injured her neck somehow and is obviously in pain anytime she tries to turn her head, poor baby, so she walks around holding it stiffly straight ahead and down.  And the fact that we can't pull her around by the collar because of her condition makes it VERY hard to handle her 110 pounds.

I feel really bad too for Dad who will be in a nursing home this year for the first time.  On one hand, they will be having all sorts of musical programs and special meals and things that he wouldn't have been able to enjoy if he were at home.  But on the other, for someone as private as Dad it can't be enjoyable to be spending all his time in the company of strangers. 

He was pretty satisfied with his situation for the first few months he was there.  He was in a private room and there were folks available whenever he needed assistance so he didn't have to be afraid something would happen to him and no one would be able to help.  But after 90 days, when Medicare payments changed, he couldn't afford to retain the private room.  So now he is virtually NEVER alone.  What a nightmare for a guy who loved spending time by himself in his office/den even when he was at home and the family was around.  What I could give him that might cheer him up is beyond me. 

Dad has so much trouble talking on the phone lately that I'm thinking I might buy him a large-screen laptop and plug him into this blog.  Maybe he would enjoy seeing the photos I upload.  Something to think about.

This is a picture taken last year when Wendy visited Louisiana -- February, I think.  Since her Grandpa got sick though she hasn't had time to visit much of anyone.  Wendy has been working ridiculous hours for years.  Now when she gets off work she goes by the nursing home to visit with her Grandpa virtually every day since this all began almost a year ago.  Not much time left for a "life."  She is such a wonderful person.  I am so proud of her!  

Living with her Grandma and Grandpa as a kid instead of being hauled across the country with me was probably a good thing, I guess, no matter how much I missed her.  She got to keep the same friends for her whole life - unlike me.  I went to countless different schools, including three different high schools in three different towns!   That's not something I'd wish on anyone - certainly not someone I cared about.  I hope staying in one place helped make Wendy the secure, self-confident person she is.


But living with her dad and Shirley as a teenager probably also had a great deal to do with making her the person she's become.  I  am incredibly grateful that Shirley became such a large part of Wendy's life when she did.

I can also thank Shirley for the fact that we are all still "family."  If she were the "typical" second wife, I wouldn't feel like I really had an extended family at this point.  Hey, forget Christmas ...  I just wish I could think of a way to show all the terrific people in my life what they mean to me every day.

I guess I better get back to work -- people coming by my office are going to start asking what the tears are about!  (Blogging at lunch may not be the best idea.)